Evaluate Advice Using a Framework of Questions, Part 2

Today I would like to build off of my previous post that covers using a framework of questions to evaluate the advice of others. Specifically I’d like to discuss two “facts” that keep getting thrown and my wife and I:

1. “You have to buy a new crib.”
2. “Cloth diapers are too much trouble to use.”

1. Cribs: “You have to buy a new crib.”

• Did the person giving the advise try other options you are considering? In our case, no, they didn’t. They also said “one crib will never work. My kids would have disturbed each other as they slept”. Note that this family member, who we love and trust, never actually tried one crib. She’s basing her decision solely on what “would have” happened.
• Have you spoken with someone that took an alternative approach? Yes. My wife’s parents used a single donated crib for my wife and her twin sister. We also spoke to my sister, who used a mini-crib for her daughter. Besides my wife’s parents though we haven’t been in touch with anyone else that utilized a used crib.
• If the advise that is being given is considered “standard” or “status quo” at this time, was there ever a time when another option was used? I don’t know about long, long, ago, but I’m sure there are thousands of parents each year that are not financially able to purchase a new crib. And now that I think about it, most people probably reuse their cribs for any additional children that they have. What makes a used crib that someone else used less safe than one you used for a previous child?
• What would be the result of taking the exact opposite advice? If you buy a used crib, either from someone you trust or after researching it and inspecting it thoroughly, then I don’t know what else needs to be done. Every year there are recalls on brand new crib models due to safety concerns.
• Is there a way to change the downsides or risks of taking the exact opposite advice? Absolutely. Learn about the current safety standards. Did you know that bassinets don’t have any federal safety guidelines at all, yet a lot of parents use then when they first bring their children home from the hospital. You can also try to find a friend you trust and buy a crib from them. That way you’ll know how the crib was treated and used.
• What is the source of the advice? In this case it’s just practical experience. Our friends and family are simply relating what they did, and they assume what they did was the only or best choice.
• Do you trust the person giving the advice? In our case yes, we do, but we also know that people rarely give multiple (alternative) recommendations on the same topic.

So, should I purchase a new crib, and should I purchase 1 crib or two? The all-in cost of a crib, with mattress, bedding, etc can cost anywhere from $175 to whatever you want to pay. After researching cribs online and running by a store or two we’re probably looking at $350 to $500 for a new crib. We will probably buy a single new crib for our twins. If we need another crib we can always purchase it later, and because we plan to use the crib for additional children I like to get the crib we really want (including the size, style, finish, detailing, etc). I do not, however, think buying a used crib is unsafe unless you purchase it without inspecting it and decide it’s not worth your time to learn about the current safety standards for cribs. That’s just me though. You can obviously make your own decision.

2. Cloth Diapers: “Cloth diapers are too much trouble to use.”

• Did the person giving the advise try other options you are considering? No. None of our friends have used cloth diapers. But both sets of our parents did, and yours probably did too. Diaper services were popular back then, and although they still exist they are not required to use cloth diapers.
• Have you spoken with someone that took an alternative approach? We spoke with our parents, but this was mostly to bring them up to speed on our decision than anything else. More importantly we spoke with a woman that has used cloth diapers. She’s a small businesswoman, and runs a store in town that sells a wide variety of cloth diapers. She educated us on the current choices and helped us better understand what using cloth diapers would be like. We also asked about twin moms who used cloth diapers, and she was able to give us some information that was specific to our situation.
• If the advise that is being given is considered “standard” or “status quo” at this time, was there ever a time when another option was used? Yes. As I mentioned before, most babies used cloth diapers before 1980. Disposables didn’t even exist until the 1950’s or 1960’s.
• What would be the result of taking the exact opposite advice? We’d be using cloth diapers. That’s about it.
• Is there a way to change the downsides or risks of taking the exact opposite advice? Absolutely. I can’t imagine that the answer to this question would ever be “no”. We could purchase just a few and see how we like it. We could purchase one of the many starter kits on the web that offer a variety of different cloth diaper brands, styles, and fits.
• What is the source of the advice? Mostly from our family and friends. Disposable diapers are the norm now, as are preprocessed packaged foods and drinking soda at every meal.
• Do you trust the person giving the advice? We trust the people, but since they’ve never tried cloth their opinions are just speculation.

Let’s be honest. Cloth diapers will require more work than disposables. Everything of value requires work. The question is how much work, are you willing to do the work, and are the benefits worth the work. In our case we believe the work is minimal and the benefits are substantial, both to our babies as well as financially.

Image Credit: laughlin

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